The Steady Unrelenting Incoming Tide of Recovery

One of my favorite places to go is a tiny tidal isle off the northeast
coast of England that is identified as Holy Island Lindisfarne. Not
only is it rich in Christian heritage going back to the 5th and 6th cen-
turies, and therefore a holy place of pilgrimage for Christians of Eng-
land, it is also an amazing wildlife refuge and a place of rugged natural
beauty. Unfortunately the result of all this is that it is overrun by tour-
ists for much of the year.

Holy Island, being a tidal island, is cut off from the mainland twice in
a twentyfour hour period. It is inaccessible for significant lengths of
time, depending on the tide. Knowing this fact, the wise inhabitants of
the island have restricted guest accommodation. Therefore most visi-
tors to the island have to leave while the causeway is still safe for pas-
sage. One of the great thrills of my life has been to have lodging on the
island and to stand on a bluff watching the stream of vehicles flooding
across the causeway before it is itself inundated by the rising tide.

At the time of lowest tide, I like to go look out over the bay. I see des-
olate mud flats and occasional basins of standing water left by the pre-
vious outgoing tide. It is just over three miles to the mainland side of
the tidal basin. A permanent channel of moving water hugs the oppo-
site coast. But the basin quickly fills up with onrushing tidal water
from the North Sea. The area off in the distance begins to fill with the
tide, and then the waters start filling the areas between Holy Island
and the main channel way over on the other side. Gradually, but all
so unrelentingly, the sea water advances upon the beaches of the
island. Soon the middle distance of mud flats is covered by water,
and then the portion of the basin closest to me is covered with a shal-
low level of water. When I go down on the beach I am surprised by
how quickly the approaching water creeps unrelentingly to where I
stand.

At times I have wondered if the water is eying me and trying not to
scare me away so that it can quickly grab me and pull me into the on-
rushing water and carry me out to sea. I marvel at the steady prog-
ress of rivulets that inch their way forward, steady and sure in their
advance. I am forced to retreat to higher and higher ground. How
quickly once-dry rocks that had served as benchmarks of the tide's
advance are covered with water and the tide has reached it's high wa-
ter mark. I am struck by how slow, yet unrelenting and steady is the
tide's advance. I just go with the flow of it.

This scenario best describes how I feel at this point in my recovery.
I don't recall having experienced anything like desolate mud flats
during my time in the hospital, but I experienced something like
the incoming tidal surge of Holy Island. My recovery is like the in-
coming high tide: it seems slow at times, but it is definitely unrelent-
ing and steady. I have marveled at the steady and relentless ad-
vance of the recovery of my body, mind, and spirit.

I feel great physically, and I am becoming increasingly confident in
my ability to walk anywhere in town. Recently I tackled two major
challenges in my recovery: I walked the twenty minutes from home
to the office rather than taking the bus, and I walked up a major
steep portion on the way to church that had intimidated me before.
I am naturally waking up after 7-8 hours of sleep at night, but I
still have enjoyment in an afternoon nap. My mental ability is be-
coming more and more clear. I am savouring the word-smithing
and story-telling of J.R.R. Tolkien's trilogy and I am starting to
write again. I still am not ready to do academic work yet. I am en-
joying this time, but I try not to flaunt my opportunities for such
pleasures in front of my academic colleagues who do not have such
luxury of time. They are hard pressed by scholarly books to read,
chapters to write, and papers to present. I am experiencing a de-
sire to be back doing that sometime in the future, but I hope I can
at least finish Tolkien's trilogy first.

I've also resumed attending Morning and Evening Prayer, as well as
picking up on my own personal discipline of prayer and Scripture
reading. These activities nurture me and help shape my day. My ap-
petite is still not what I had hoped it would be. I still find it hard to
make it through even small portions of food. Although my appetite
has picked up a little this past week, it remains a concern to me.

Meanwhile I am thankful for the positive progress of my recovery.
My body continues to be strengthened, my mind is becoming clear-
er, and my spirits are increasingly lifted; many times I sense this day
by day. I continue to ask for your thoughts and prayers as I continue
in my recovery. Thankyou for the emails and letters.

Blessings, Jeff T.

Getting Back into the Swing of Things

Tomorrow will mark the start of my third week back here in
St Andrews after nineteen days in two hospitals. I have be-
come aware how much St. Andrews has become home for me
and how marvelous it is to be home. Even though both the sur-
gery and recovery are becoming increasingly distant memories,
I am realizing how significant the experience of having undergone
serious cardiac surgery was on me as a person. But I would rather
reflect on that from the comfort of home and community rather
than from in the hospital.

Physically I feel that my body is healing and recovering, but I am
confronted daily with the limits beyond which my body cannot go.
For the past few days I have been sensing a spring in my step as I
start out on a walk and I feel as if my heart is firing on all cylinders.
I no longer feel the occasional dizziness and lightheadedness that I
was experiencing last spring and summer. But as I walk longer dis-
tances, sooner or later I start to breathe more deeply and to slow
down my pace. I was told to expect that, and yet I have been thrilled
to see my endurance and walking distance grow day by day. I am en-
joying sleep, especially afternoon naps. I have been pleasantly sur-
prised by the reappearance of my taste and appetite. Physically, I
feel that I am well ahead of where I expected to be at this point of
just over four weeks after surgery.

I entered the hospital the day before the operation with Tolkien's
Lord of the Rings and my journal, anticipating that I would be able
to take advantage of two or three weeks of leisure time to enjoy
reading and writing while I recuperated in the hospital. I did not
take seriously the warnings that I could experience loss of concen-
tration and focus for an undetermined length of time. For the past
four weeks I have not experienced any desire to read or write. Only
yesterday, on Sunday after church, did I spend some time reading for
the fun of it and enjoying it. But twenty minutes or so of light reading
made me tired enough to enjoy a wonderful two hour Sunday nap.
Last night I felt the desire to write on the blog and gave myself the
whole week to get at it. But this afternoon I felt the urge to get on with
it today. I sense that the desire to get back to journal writing is just
around the corner. The desire to write and to read are like shy fellows
who flee in fright whenever I pay them any attention. But if I act as if
they are not there they gradually feel safe enough to come out into the
open and enable me to read and write again.

I hope to write in my journal, reflect on my surgery experience, and
share some things with you in the blog. I can't promise you that I will
blog often, but I am confident that stirrings deep within me are slowly
working their way through me and seeking expression on the blog.

I have appreciated your letters, calls, visits, chats, and meals. I feel
richly blessed. It has been a wonderful time for me and I am enjoying
and savouring it.

Blessings to you and yours, Jeff T.

Recovery Update

Me again. (Ryan)

Jeff has asked that I update his blog, as he's not yet found the energy to write or e-mail much yet.

I can report that Jeff's recovery is progressing very well. He's back at home and he has even been taking the bus into town to stop by the office and meet friends for breakfast, coffees and dinners.

Colleen and I had breakfast with Jeff on Saturday and after a bagel, a bowl of porridge and a plate of pancakes, it was clear that the old Jeff is back!

He still has to pace himself and he is not yet ready to do any serious reading or writing, but he is enjoying his time back in St Andrews and thought that he might try to get caught up on his bible reading.

Jeff also wanted to let you all know to feel free to contact him either by phone or by e-mail to say hello. (Although e-mail responses may take some time.)

Please note that Jeff's cell phone number is in the below post.

Home Sweet Home

Jeff was released last night from Victoria Hospital and is resting comfortably at home in St Andrews. Special thanks to the Chandlers for going to get Jeff from the hospital.

I dropped by Jeff's place last night and he was very happy to be back in his own room and looking forward to a night in his own bed. He said that he felt great and he had an appointment to check-in with his GP on Wednesday. He even thought he might take the bus into town and stop by the office to check e-mail and say hello to some colleagues. He assured me that he would take things slowly.

Jeff asked that I post his cell phone number online, in case anyone would like to give him a call:

078476656798

Well, it looks like this may be my last guest post on Jeff's blog.

I'm sure he will be writing on his experiences and his recovery before long. So don't forget to come back for updates.

Special thanks to all those that sent me updates for the blog. Very much appreciated.

Sunday Afternoon Visit

Colleen was feeling a bit under the weather and didn't want to pass along any germs to our recovering friend, so I struck out on my own to find Kirkcaldy and to visit Jeff.

When I arrived, Jeff was up walking the halls. He's been doing some serious hall walking since being transferred out of HDU. Jeff and I sat in the hall and caught-up while he sorted through his belongings. (With typical NHS efficiency, his bags were sent directly back to St Andrews rather than being sent with him to Kirkcaldy.)

Jeff seemed very strong and said that he was feeling great physically. We broke for Jeff's dinner and I went down to the cafeteria for a coffee. I came back up to his Ward after the dinner hour and we sat and chatted about St Andrews, his recovery and the upcoming US mid-term elections.

It was a very nice visit and it's good to see the old Jeff. -Apart from the location and the pjs you'd never know that he had just been through such a challenging surgery.

Update from the Chaplin

Here's an update from Jamie Walker, the University Chaplin -via Kevin Diller:

"I saw Jeff yesterday afternoon. He is now in Victoria Hospital, Kirkcaldy and seems to be
doing well. He had originally been told he would likely be in Kirkcaldy for 10-14 days, but with
his staying extra days in Edinburgh he is wondering whether he might get home earlier -
but he has not yet seen his consultant."

Kirkcaldy Bound

Jeff has been moved from Edinburgh to Kirkcaldy.

This shows good progress and means that it won't be long before he's back in St Andrews. They intend to keep him in Kirkcaldy while they monitor his receptiveness to the prescription blood thinners.

He is in the Cardiac Ward.

Victoria Hospital
VICTORIA HOSPITAL
HAYFIELD ROAD
KIRKCALDY
KY2 5AH
tel: 01592 643355

Back on the Ward

I spoke with Mrs Priest on Tuesday morning. She was on her way to visit Jeff. She had called and the nurses informed her that he has been moved from the HDU to the regular ward (102).

This is great news. Jeff has been looking forward to this move for some time. His new room will have windows and a view to the outside world.

Waiting for an opening

Colleen and I went up to Edinburgh on Sunday to visit Jeff. He is still in the HDU, but only because they were waiting for a bed to open up on the regular ward. Jeff has made a steady recovery and they were ready to move him out of the HDU on Saturday.

The improvement in Jeff from last week to this week has been remarkable. When we arrived, he was sitting in the patient chair next to his bed. The oxygen mask was gone and he seemed strong and very alert. He pointed out that his blood oxygen levels were very strong.

The best indication that he is recovering is that he finally got into the goodie bag that Colleen brought him last week. The Dr. Pepper was gone and he had made a dent in the Oreo cookies. He even sent us down to the hospital store to buy him some Pepsi. He said that his appetite and his ability to taste were still not full recovered. He does appear to have lost some weight, but I'm sure that it will be recovered quickly.

We had a great visit and conversation. Jeff was looking forward to moving to the regular ward, to the hospital in Kircaldy and eventually back to his home in St Andrews. He told us that after speaking to friends back home in Washington, he was very excited with the possibility that he might visit when he was more fully recovered.

We updated Jeff on the Divinity speakers series back in St Andrews and other town gossip. In total, we visited from more than an hour before he began to feel tired.

Overall Jeff was recovering, in very good spirits and thankful for all the mail, telephone calls and visits that he has been receiving from friends and colleagues.

An Update from Tracy

Tracy and Yumi visited Jeff recently and here's their update:

Here's the latest:- Jeff is still fighting a chest infection and still in the High Dependency Unit, though he is hoping to be released soon to a more independent unit- perhaps Saturday or Sunday. - He will soon be moved to another ward, where they will continue to monitor him; he will stay in this unit until the doctors feel he is stable enough, and breathing well enough, to move him to Kirkcaldy. This may be a day or two, or perhaps up to a week.

His spirits are high however, and he says his heart feels much stronger. This is good news, indeed. But he is weak and has lost weight and has little appetite, though the doctors expect this to return when the chest infection settles down.

Yumi and I brought cookies, but he had no appetite to eat any; for Jeff this was certainly odd!

But as always, he is focusing on the positive aspects of this situation: his care has been wonderful, he says, and he has had many visitors, calls and cards which continue to buoy his spirits.

Yumi and I visited for about 45 minutes and Bob Gillies, the Rector of St Andrews, had just been there before. And though he is weak, he was chatty and keen to visit.