The Reader, the Thinker, and the Writer

Over the years I have come to appreciate three companions who have
been important in my life as a pastor/scholar: the Reader, the Thinker,
and the Writer. The Reader has always had a hunger to be engaged
with a book or an article. It is dangerous to take the Reader into any
bookstore because I find it difficult to restrain the Reader from buying
any book that captures his interest (which can be quite varied and
broad). The Thinker likes to brood and ponder over big and impor-
tant thoughts and some that are not so big and important. Friends
have told me that sometimes the Thinker has me so involved with
him that I am oblivious to people saying hello to me as they pass me
on the street. The Writer nags me about my writing, no matter how
small or unimportant. Nothing seems to satisfy him, and so he is con-
stantly on my case!

They were always demanding my attention, and sometimes I just
wanted to forget them and escape to a movie! After the movie I
would again realize how much the Reader, the Thinker, and the Writ-
er are who I am. Just before my recent surgery and during the recov-
ery period, they started to act strangely. For example, this summer, as
I waited for a surgery date, they were unable to do much work because
they said they could not concentrate on the dissertation. The week be-
fore the surgery was a complete waste of my time because they were
so preoccupied with it. It seems that the surgery itself traumatized them
so much that they scattered to the four winds. I didn't see any trace of
them until four or five weeks after the operation.

Just over a week ago things started to change quite rapidly. The
Thinker had been relating to me for several weeks and the Reader
and the Writer wanted to start doing that too, but were reluctant to
join in. My strategy was to act cool and uninterested, giving them
the impression that I was doing quite well without them. I had learn-
ed that if I revealed any interest, the Reader and the Writer would
get frightened and scatter into far off regions. The closer they came,
the more I would exhibit disinterest and coolness to them. It was a
slow process, and I had to control myself because I was eager to have
them back. I appreciated having the Thinker present, but I really need-
ed all three. I need the Reader and the Writer working together with
the Thinker. I think my strategy is starting to work!

As I sit at my laptop now, the three are present around me, yapping
away with one another. The Thinker sits on my desk, pondering some
idea connected with my dissertation. Occasionally I have to ask him
to move out of the way because he is sitting on something I want to
work on. The Reader has been chatting up a storm with the Thinker
and is eyeing the books and stacks of papers around me, trying to
find something that supports what the Thinker is thinking. Although
the Writer has been the most reluctant to get back into things, I sense
he is starting to work on writing what the Thinker is thinking and what
the Reader is reading. They may soon demand that I give up non-aca-
demic reading, watching DVDs, and hanging out in the common room
to talk to people so that I can get back to work.

Now that the Reader, the Thinker, and the Writer are starting to get
back into the dissertation, I realize how much I would like to have more
time to read the great bunch of books friends lent me, or continue my
vacation from the dissertation until after the New Year, or take pleas-
ure doing fun reading while my academic colleagues slave over their
own dissertations. I continue my strategy of acting cool towards the
three, hoping they won't want to get serious too soon. The more they
get serious about academic work, the more I wonder if I shouldn't take
it easy for a little longer.

I am torn about what to do. When the Reader, the Thinker, and the
Writer were no where to be found, I was wanting them back; now that
they are in my face, I am yearning for the free time and the easy life
to continue. I'm still recovering from serious heart surgery seven weeks
ago, you know! Unfortunately I expect that I will be back to my disserta-
tion very soon. It's only a matter of time.