Nearly 25 years ago I remember my doctor had received the results of a recent test done on my heart. He looked me in the eyes and gently said that I should expect to have major heart surgery done sometime in the future to replace my aortic valve. At that time the doctor was not concerned about my valve, but he saw evidence of leakage and he could only expect that it would get worse over time. He did not predict when I would need the surgery, but he seemed certain that it would be necessary at a future date.
I must admit that since than I had always dreaded the possibility of having open heart surgery. The thought of having my chest opened up and my heart worked on scared me. Those feelings and fears came back to me last February when a local cardiologist looked over the results of recent tests on my heart. He noted that I had not been experiencing the symptoms of heart disease, but the tests revealed that my aortic valve was leaking at an increasing rate, and that if it were not tended to within the near future I would begin to experience serious medical problems. It was so serious that he recommended surgery within the year.
Major heart surgery was something that I did not desire to undergo, especially because I was in the final stages of writing my dissertation. I began to think of reasons to put off the surgery. The only thing I can say is that at some moment in that office I realized that my reluctance was not good for me, and I made the decision to undergo surgery as soon as it could be arranged. I have not regretted making that decision.
It has been over six weeks since my surgery, and it is all behind me now. My recovery has gone well and I feel ready to get on with my life. The fears I had were ill-founded. I was well taken care of in surgery and recovery. Even though I went through a serious chest infection there was never concern whether I was going to make it or not. What I suffered through were periods of waiting for medicines to take effect or wondering when staff would move me onto the next phase of the recovery process. I was often bored out of my mind. But those things or something similar happen both inside of hospitals as well as outside them.
As I reflect on my surgery and recovery I can only see good. I am glad that I went through it because the surgery gave me so many physical and spiritual benefits for which I am increasingly grateful. The surgery that I had feared for close to 25 years became a source of rich blessing for me. I am thankful to God that God put me through it and I am realizing that it is one of the most significant events in my life.
Meanwhile, just over six weeks since surgery, I feel fit and healthy, and I don't feel sluggish or out of breath. I easily do everything that I did before the surgery, and that demands a lot of walking. Perhaps if I pushed myself to do things I normally do not do I would sense my physical limits. Physically I feel great. My mental abilities continue to steadily improve and I am doing a considerable amount of reading and writing. But I have not sensed that it is time to get back to academic matters yet. The time will come, but I won't push it.
I continue to ask you to keep me in your thoughts and prayers.
Blessings, Jeff
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