Getting Back into the Swing of Things

Tomorrow will mark the start of my third week back here in
St Andrews after nineteen days in two hospitals. I have be-
come aware how much St. Andrews has become home for me
and how marvelous it is to be home. Even though both the sur-
gery and recovery are becoming increasingly distant memories,
I am realizing how significant the experience of having undergone
serious cardiac surgery was on me as a person. But I would rather
reflect on that from the comfort of home and community rather
than from in the hospital.

Physically I feel that my body is healing and recovering, but I am
confronted daily with the limits beyond which my body cannot go.
For the past few days I have been sensing a spring in my step as I
start out on a walk and I feel as if my heart is firing on all cylinders.
I no longer feel the occasional dizziness and lightheadedness that I
was experiencing last spring and summer. But as I walk longer dis-
tances, sooner or later I start to breathe more deeply and to slow
down my pace. I was told to expect that, and yet I have been thrilled
to see my endurance and walking distance grow day by day. I am en-
joying sleep, especially afternoon naps. I have been pleasantly sur-
prised by the reappearance of my taste and appetite. Physically, I
feel that I am well ahead of where I expected to be at this point of
just over four weeks after surgery.

I entered the hospital the day before the operation with Tolkien's
Lord of the Rings and my journal, anticipating that I would be able
to take advantage of two or three weeks of leisure time to enjoy
reading and writing while I recuperated in the hospital. I did not
take seriously the warnings that I could experience loss of concen-
tration and focus for an undetermined length of time. For the past
four weeks I have not experienced any desire to read or write. Only
yesterday, on Sunday after church, did I spend some time reading for
the fun of it and enjoying it. But twenty minutes or so of light reading
made me tired enough to enjoy a wonderful two hour Sunday nap.
Last night I felt the desire to write on the blog and gave myself the
whole week to get at it. But this afternoon I felt the urge to get on with
it today. I sense that the desire to get back to journal writing is just
around the corner. The desire to write and to read are like shy fellows
who flee in fright whenever I pay them any attention. But if I act as if
they are not there they gradually feel safe enough to come out into the
open and enable me to read and write again.

I hope to write in my journal, reflect on my surgery experience, and
share some things with you in the blog. I can't promise you that I will
blog often, but I am confident that stirrings deep within me are slowly
working their way through me and seeking expression on the blog.

I have appreciated your letters, calls, visits, chats, and meals. I feel
richly blessed. It has been a wonderful time for me and I am enjoying
and savouring it.

Blessings to you and yours, Jeff T.