Big John, People Who Live on the Street, and Bed Bugs

Big John has lived a pretty hard life. He has fifteen or sixteen brothers and sis-
ters. Incest was sown into the very fabric of his family, and so Big John and
many of his siblings, especially his sisters, were wounded and traumatized. He
has had many doors slammed in his face as he has tried to seek forgiveness and
reconciliation in Jesus. Since he came to Christ, he been being transformed by
the Holy Spirit as a man and as a disciple of Christ. Big John tells people that he
is a registered sex offender who was released from prison late last spring. He is
required to check in with a corrections officer every few days. His whereabouts
are closely monitored and he has to request authorization to go out of the area to
go to the VA hospital. He has had no success finding a job. Big John understands
that employers do not trust a registered sex offender.

Despite the challenges of his offense, he has sought every opportunity to better
himself. While in prison he enrolled in Bible correspondence courses and partici-
pated in the prison chapter of Toast Masters; he has continued with those two ac-
tivities in the area after being released from prison. Every Tuesday he leaves Morn-
ing Watch early to go over to an early bird Toast Masters group. He has worked
himself up the public speaking ladder in hopes of better equipping himself for preach-
ing. Big John volunteers for a local ministry that provides services to disabled and
elderly people. He contributes to the leadership of an AA group that meets in the
church he attends. But most of all, I admire Big John's love for and service to the
people who live on the street who come to the building while we have Morning
Watch. His manner blends compassion with tender authority. He has been on the
street and knows what it is like.

There's not too much keeping Big John off the street now. He relies on God to
provide for his needs; he also takes every opportunity to put himself in a better po-
sition. But yesterday he shared with me that he didn't get much sleep the night be-
fore because bed bugs kept him awake at night. He's told the manager of the place
he lives in about it, but there's not much happening. As I listen to Big John and
the people who live on the streets I feel so utterly helpless; there's really nothing
I can do. It seems many of the street people have lost hope and will not move out
of their condition; Big John is an exception. Yet I see him struggle to find work
and deal with the bed bugs. Lord Jesus, be with Big John; provide for his every
need. But the more difficult challenge is what I would do. Lord Jesus, help!

Blessings to you and yours,

Big John

Big John (that may or may not be his real name) reminds me of a character
of Robin Hood lore who, I think, went by the name of Big John. Or was it
Little John? Regardless, he's an imposing figure, but with a gentle spirit. He
is a bit shorter than I am and just a few months younger than me. There re-
mains the remnants of a military bearing of service years before that was con-
firmed in a recent conversation. So the first time I saw him, I named him Big
John.

I have been attending Morning Prayer Watch at a local church center since
late March. For over five years people have been gathering together to pray
from 5 to 7 in the morning, seven days a week.  They have been praying for
different topics and concerns each day. One day in late April I saw a new per-
son whom I later named Big John approach the open mic and pray for the heal-
ing of the pain of broken relationships in his family. He prayed publicly several
days a week for reconciliation. Later he shared with us that things had not
worked out as he had hoped. But that did not slow down Big John.

I don't think Big John finished his high school education, but now he has such
a hunger to learn. While people are praying in the sanctuary of the church, the
front part is open to people who live on the street. Between 5 and 7 there is a
warm place where they can get coffee and sometimes a little breakfast. There
are nice, comfortable chairs in which people can have a nap in safety. There's
clean men's and women's restrooms and places to take a shower. John started
hanging out there in the lobby in order to provide security and offer a listening
ear. He was there for them, but he also give them space.

Big John knows the people who come in because he's been there and done
that. He expresses a beautiful mix of compassion, respect, and firmness. The
lobby has become Big John's place of ministry. He's been through a lot, and
Jesus' healing work is very evident in his life. Jesus has been slowly changing
and transforming Big John's life. People feel safe around him. I have often seen
him on a laptop somebody gave him at a table with three or four men and wo-
men crowded around. Sometimes all of them are chatting; other times they are
just sitting. I will share more about him in the next few days.

Blessings to you and yours,

A Birth Announcement of Sorts

It's a pleasure for me to announce the safe delivery of the nine-page conclusions
section of my thesis. Last Monday evening, October 17, I submitted by email to
my two thesis readers in Britain the revamped final conclusions of my thesis. For
the previous three weeks or so I had been putting in eight and nine hour days, ex-
cept on Sundays. My problem was that I had too much material, so I had to do a
lot of cutting out of stuff I had written. Plus I was always having insights or mak-
ing connections in my mind as I was waking up in the mornings. I jotted the in-
sights down on paper as I got out of bed. It took a while for my mind to shape my
thoughts for inclusion in the thesis. I was under pressure because this was my last
chance for my thesis to be accepted in full.

About a week before I resubmitted, I sent my first draft to an academic advisor
at  the University of St. Andrews. He thought two sections were fine, and made
a few suggestions on the other two. I re-wrote the two sections and sent them
back to him. I thought that I would have more work to do to craft the final two
sections, but the advisor emailed me that the two sections were very well done
and that I should wrap up the conclusions and submit them. He even congratua-
lated me for the thesis meeting the qualifications.  

A part of me wanted to keep working on the conclusions, shaping it until it was
perfect. But another part of me was telling me to put it down as it was and sub-
mit it. So, I did the latter; I really did not struggle with the decision. I emailed it
off to the two readers and then got a good night's sleep. The next day, the main
reader emailed me that he had received my conclusions and that he had for-
warded them to the other reader. He wrote that they would get back to me just
as soon as they could. Despite the congratulations of the advisor, only the two
readers can make the decision whether it qualifies or not.

I feel at rest with what I wrote. Things fell into place the two weeks before I sub-
mitted my conclusions. At the end,  I felt a click like when two pieces made for
each other snap together. I feel content and satisfied with my work. There is a pos-
sibility that it won't be accepted, but if that is the case, so be it. I am grateful to the
Lord for giving me this time to work through some critical issues in my mind. The
last two years have been wonderful for me as I have worked through the thesis.
My two readers gave me more opportunities than I deserved to do what they asked
me to do. I would not have done all this work without their prodding me. It is as if
they saw something in my thesis that needed more time to mature, and they gave me
the additional time. It was just what I needed. So, now it is not only out of  my mind,
but out of my hands.  That feels so good! I hope to get back to my real life. I hope to
be able to get back to blog writing.

Blessings to you and yours,