I admit it: I've been struggling for the past few weeks, if not
longer. I am firmly convinced that God's orders for me are
to remain in Scotland for the time being as a minister with
the Church of Scotland. That's all I know. I don't see any-
thing specific beyond that. I'm under orders. But I would
rather be going elsewhere other than Scotland.
I am reminded that I have pledged myself to God, that I
would go wherever He sent me, and that I was, and am, un-
der orders. I've had four marvelous years in St. Andrews,
Scotland: I treasure the people I've met, the places I've vis-
ited, and the things I've done. I was anticipating that I would
soon be leaving Scotland with happy memories and on my
way to the next destination in life and ministry. But my or-
ders are to stay and not go. I am under orders. But I desire
to go someplace else other than stay here.
Even though I am under orders, I take small opportuni-
ties to resist taking the necessary steps to complete the pro-
cess of transferring my ordination from the Presbyterian
Church (USA) to the Church of Scotland. I do everything
that I can in order to evade doing what I need to do to sub-
mit the application. Rather than working on the application,
I read books, volunteer six hours a week at the Christian cof-
fee and bookshop nearby, chat spontaneously with people as
long as I can, meet with friends to watch sports events, clean
my room and office, and do countless other things. But when
it comes to the application, all I do is drag my feet. I don't
really want to stay here in Scotland; I'd rather go someplace
else. But than I remember that I am under orders.
And so I ask (but only if you want to) that you would remem-
ber me in your prayers, that I would willingly and joyfully live
and serve under orders.
Blessings to you and yours,
